Joke!

[Quasi]

As everyone (or at least most of us) would have seen, there was a flurry of Whingecup running out of fuel funny pics, but I still think this is my favourite.

 

[TS-50]

So, I was sitting in a bar across from two rather large women with accents.
I said; "Wow, interesting accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland?"
One of them yelled at me; "Wales you idiot!"
So I asked; "Are you two whales from Scotland?".

 

[TS-50]

A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach
near Tel Aviv

She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed
his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "How are you today?"

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book.

"I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away three years ago and it is very lonely," she
countered. ”Do you live around here?" she asked.

"Yes, I live over in Haifa," he answered, and again he resumed reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted, "Do you like pussy cats?"

With that, the man dropped his book, came over to her blanket, tore off her swimsuit and
gave her the most passionate lovemaking of her life.

When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you
know that was what I wanted?"

The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

 

[TS-50]

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Jordanian, a Kiwi, a Swede, a Finn, a Canadian,
an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean,
an Italian, a Norwegian, an Argentinian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu,
a Buddhist and an African went to a night club.


The Door Bouncer puts his hand up and stops them, Sorry, you can't come in here, this is a respectable establishment,

one of the group says " What, surely we are respectable, why not? "


The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai. "